Lotus Flame
Originally uploaded by John Siddique.hi there
this poem was commissioned by BBC Manchester for Valentines Day
and originally aired on the breakfast show
Visible imprints
Love burns his diaries in the zinc leaf bin
in the garden. Sick of himself he’s a fool
who gets it wrong, turns up in a pink wig
and sequins to a dinner party, thinking
it's fancy dress. Cries when he says I love you,
when he only meant to say pass the salt.
He would like to unfold the paper of his heart,
give you the pen to write your lines there.
Anniversaries and Christmases make him sad.
Young love is so self obsessed, middle love sees
what you mean, though you have no intention
of saying it. – He’s learned that turning up
on time, doing what you say your going to do,
allowing two to remain two, are the answers
His head full of Hollywood, full of perfect wives
in the aisles of Tescos, the escalators at Brixton tube.
His heart decides forgiveness means peace,
means letting go of the grasping. He gathers
kindling, the red petrol canister from the boot
of the car, burns the diaries full of their names.
Gives up on longing at his core, in that way
he can have you again. No more pushing away.
Red edged burning, ash paper with imprints
still visible, fireflies of years – messages on the air,
caught down-drafted into wet. He can go to bed
tonight, put his arms round his girl; be there finally.
(c) John Siddique 2007
from - 'Poems from a Northern Soul' (Crocus)
isbn 0946745870
http://www.amazon.co.uk/o/ASIN/0946745870/ref=s9_asin_image_2/203-0002477-4947979
www.johnsiddique.co.uk
