Monday, 31 December 2007

into 2008

happiness and light to you dear reader.. apologies for not posting too often here at present, most of my blogging style stuff is into my diary at present, as am reflecting on things that are far too personal to be on a blog, and/or are to do with ideas for books, so i have to take care to not give them away. 

have been a bit active on my music blog at

and have been considering starting a new space under my yoga name - jagadisa, to think about things like yoga, sex, love, spirit and shadow, but i'm not so sure, have books to write, and blogs can take away from being creative, if yr not careful.

personally am glad to see the back of 2007, published some books, met someone who has affected my life profoundly, two friends died, found myself single, and there has been a whole heap of randomness that was like some kind of universal joke. am full of positivity for the new one, been looking, and still am looking at how things work, and learning anew how to steer my course. hopefully meet you on the road somewhere soon.


Sunday, 23 December 2007

Race Murder

a prayer for Asaf Mahmood Ahmed aged 28 who has been murdered simply for the colour of his skin in Bolton, Lancashire.

I regard any form of racism as an act of murder, even racist taunts.. why? because when you see someone as non human, and use racism to create a division you murder that person's spirit. sure one has to learn to take it as it comes.. the world is full of ignorant people and all that. but it goes deep.

I will light a candle on my shrine for Asaf Mahmood Ahmed, a prayer for his spirit, a prayer for his family, and a prayer for his killers -  may you come to know what you have done, and then rot in jail with that self knowledge.

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Dear Catholic Tony Blair

On hearing the news that ex prime minister Tony Blair has converted to the Catholic Faith:

it's not your choice of religion that has people labelling you a nutter, it's the fact that you are a nutter that does that for you. - sometimes one has to look to the obvious roots of a thing. And now that you are a Catholic, I wonder how you are getting on with those pesky commandments of yours, you know  - 'Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour,' and how about 'Thou shalt not kill,' but I'm sure you will just do your usual thing of repeating yourself with your earnest face, and if you say things often enough you think they become true... course they do.. perhaps you should ask yourself a simple question - what would Jesus do? measure your actions against those, I think you might find yourself only a king in your own mind.


- oh oh .. can i bang the nails in please....

Wednesday, 19 December 2007


Well I'm suppossed to be inspiring some young reluctant readers in a school in Leeds today, but the fluey thing that has been going round is back.. my 2nd go is six weeks this time it's the pain in the guts version. apparently it's everywhere... so here i am at home doing receipts to see my accountant tomorrow, as tax time is coming.

been looking at my most recent poetry MS sent it to 3 big publishers got 3 rejections.. so I guess being well published in the small press world counts for little.. still I'll just keep hammering on the door, I'm not one to go away or give up, really need to move away from smaller press land, too many little fifedoms with unspoken rules to collide against. frankly I just want to get on with the business of being a poet and novelist, and know that that there will be supplies of my books available, and that people can get hold of them if they want to. not much to ask eh? or that one can have a clear line of communication with one's publisher.

going to sleep for a couple of hours, then see if i can finish the paper shuffling.. 

music today, new lp from vanessa paradis and lots of bach piano stuff... french suites.. oh and some dizzie gillespie..

Friday, 14 December 2007

wild days of taxes

ah yes it is that time of year in the UK when the self employed get ready to pay their taxes at the end of next month to the sherriff of Nottingham, i mean the inland revenue...

took the whole afternoon just to get my head round my milage allowances for last year. I drove a lot, which is good, as the allowance is pretty cool, and i have a diesel car.

lots of lovely phone calls from lovely people last night, and a super surprise this morning from a very dear friend, so after the winds and the teeth of yesterday..which was officially a stinker.. I'm all happy and excited.

good music is essential whilst doing the accounts.. bach, francis cabrel, vanessa paradis, and aphex twin today. it's cold in the north.. so drink whisky and stay warm is my advice...


Thursday, 13 December 2007

teeth & Spam

I thought we had got out of the black hole of 2007, but it seems like the year still has teeth, oh yes. Radical grinding to a halt on Xmas plans due to insane people with insane emotional & mental baggage!!!, needing now a complete rethink..

have been spammed to almost destruction over the last few days.. so have been going through spam filters trying to close off stuff where i can, so if i miss an email from you I apologise and do let me know, so i can set my filters properly.

and creative partnerships keep asking me to do work with them.. then asking me to do it for half my normal fee. seems they have a set rate for all artists, doesn't matter how good you are or how long you have worked at it, you get paid the same as someone who has never done anything before, and has no experience. so disrespectful, i wonder if the administrators of these things have even read one of my books. I don't think CP is even about art, it is about specialised teaching and pulling artists away from being creative bu paying them less than Arts Council were recommending 3 years ago...

we need to do something about this problem. i wonder if the chief of CP would work for half of their wages.

still.. on the other hand had a great few days finishing off the Buxton Transition Schools Project, and have been getting support in the ongoing search for my father from The Editor of the Pakistan Academy of Letters... yes i am keeping a journal of all the happenings on this front and can feel a follow up to my Four Fathers stories coming on perhaps at book length this time.. as if writing a poetry book, and a novel weren't enough eh?

hope all is well with you dear reader...

e.xx - get well soon

and hi you lovely peeps in the US thanks for all the attention