Monday, 28 January 2008

montage of a lovelife

listening to Francis Cabrel as i work this morning. his song Je t' aimais, Je t'aime, Je t'aimerai gets me everytime. if someone were ever to film a hollywood montage of my lovelife, all tweaked primary colours and fade cuts, bits of slo mo, this would be the music underneath.

have you ever put it all on the line and said the thing you have needed to say, that you've not been able to say for a long time, and you don't know if there is a next bit. well picture this poet dear reader, having done just that. if you've had a time in your life when you have found your rubicon you'll know what i mean. can't say more, and the poems that will flow i think are just for the notebook, some things are just for ourselves, and lots of my current writing is just for me, strange that, I'm so used to writing for publication but at present I'm my own reader.. just trying to make sense i guess.

may all be well
John

Friday, 25 January 2008

bitch

how's this for the writer's life:
tax has to be paid this week
car decides it need a new clutch on the way to a reading. so that get's cancelled.
and someone who owes you money from way back last year still hasn't paid up.

so i ended up eating chocolate donuts and playing heay metal guitar while rocking out for a couple of hours.. what else is a boy to do.

erm yeah!

Thursday, 24 January 2008

breaking waves, breaking the quiet

A Day by the sea discussing a major set of ideas for a poetry work. all looks like it will go ahead, but can't say more until April when we will know if there is money to do this. The sea was like a boiling cauldron splashing into the road.

 

I know i've been quiet both on here and in sending out my newsletter over the last while, all that should be back on track soon. I'm away teaching an Arvon soon, then when I return.. we'll see what we can do.

Monday, 14 January 2008

write because you have to

'you write because you have to. If you rationalize it, it seems as if you’ve seen this sight, felt this feeling, had this vision, and have got to find a combination of words that will preserve it by setting it off in other people. The duty is to the original experience. It doesn’t feel like self-expression, though it may look like it.'

Philip Larkin in The Paris Review

filling the house with music today, as it has been well peopled all weekend and now needs sound to fill the space

closer by Joy Division
Adiós Nonino by Astor Piazzolla & Su Quinteto
a bunch of 7inch single edits by Miles Davis
K080 - Quartet 1 in G by Mozart

reading Poems from Guantanamo - The detainees speak
and Larkin's interview as quoted above

 

here's another photo of my friend Rachel from our photoshoot of a week ago

Rachel2

Friday, 11 January 2008

for Prior's Mill and other recent school students

Hi all
hello Prior's Mill peeps thanks for the lovely day yesterday.. I was very tired when i got home, but i think it was worth the long journey to meet you all and have so much poetry fun..

hope everyone is happy and enjoying being back at school, and I hope to see you all soon.. thanks to everyone who bought books recently, great to know you enjoy reading my poems, do tell other people about the books you like, it's a good way to make the world a better place sharing the things you like to read.

all the best
John

Monday, 7 January 2008

Keeping The Eye


Rachel
Originally uploaded by John Siddique

I take a lot of photos as a way of being creative outside of writing, sometimes I need to do other stuff so that the words can fill up inside me, and taking pics is one of favourite things for this, as it keeps my poetic eye sharp but bypasses the language centres in my body.

This is my dear friend rachel who has been visiting the last few days, we spent saturday afternoon shooting her using my nikon with it's trusty 50mm prime lens.. I like this pic of her as it shows many sides of her personality at once, and is very beautiful at the same time.

There was a great storm at 5 or 6 am, i got up to watch and listen.. I ended up writing in my diary..

'It has been a very rainy night, the wind is blowing high and far up in the sky so that it is calm on the ground, but everything is filled with a rushing that gets into the spine like a suspicion that there is someone behind you. Occasionally there are large gusts down at the lower levels, which buffet you and keep you unsettled in your skin.'

reading:
Louis Wain's 1914 annual - which I bought a first edition of a while while back and am now getting round to.. note the new header to this page, it is from there.

Listening:
Bach - Well Tempered Klavier Book II
Keith Jarrett - Koln Concert
Vanessa Paradis - new lp (can't remember it's name)

Friday, 4 January 2008

re re restart

so back to the novel - hemmingway says the the way you write a novel is 'write the first word, then write the next word,' and in reality what else can one do.

I've needed a bit of time off from the book for family matters of late, the search for my father goes on, and yes I'm keeping good notes, and am thinking of writing it all up at some point. But not writing and having to attend to personal matters leaves me feeling like something is missing, a pressure builds up that causes all sorts of bad behaviour in me, yes it  can get very rock n'roll if i don't work, so it's a bloody relief to see the steam pressure guage go down.

now to rebuild a good routine for the year, incorporating
morning pages
creation of chapter notes
the writing itself
keeping my hand in with poetry
and admin in the afternoons
and out to do something other of an evening

need all this stuff in place, as well as incorporating my teaching work and readings into the schedule.

one word, then the next word..

okay I get it..

peace

John